The last post I made was not good. I spent too much time writing it. These posts/logs should be more off the cuff. The way I wrote the last post generally covers my problems that I can list causally off my head. (worked on it to make it better) I know that a few people expressed that my problems are normal (supporting me when they found out about my blog series), but they aren’t. I’m sure most of you reading this don’t know that I’m both sadistic and masochistic (S/M). I know that this alone isn’t incredibly uncommon, but I do fear that my masochism has lead me to create environments for my own failure (its a complicated and discover more all the time). Which doesn’t just hurt myself ,it also hurts the people around me and I have to change this (there are other major problems but this ties into them strongly, making them very warped). Why because I seek people out and wrap them into my world. – I want my brothers wife because its my brother’s wife